Anxiety. Despair. Lost. Confused.

Is it possible for someone to feel all this at a time? Because it's driving me crazy and giving me sudden random feels. 

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.

WHY AM I FUCKING JEALOUS? Remember in one of my past post, I mentioned about this guy I THINK I like? Well he posted a picture with another girl and I don't know what to feel. Ok i'm not supposed to feel sad because earlier, he just sent me a long ass text saying how he really misses me and shit and stuff like that. It hella made my day, I was smiling through it all thinking how is it not possible to love this guy. 

WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? 

Like sometimes my ego is too high to let me admit that I actually do have feelings for him, because i'm constantly denying, constantly holding back the pain, constantly trying to feel okay but it's not. It's fucking not. Am I jealous? I DON'T WANT TO FEEL SO. FUCK. 

Can't think straight like my mind is really all asgduagdusagsgsua right now. Not even kidding.

Nak mati.