Having a guy best friend was the worst decision i've ever made. Brought out the worst in me. Nothing good came out. Only pieces of a broken heart. 
Long story short, Aiman likes me. 

I gave him mixed signals and false hopes, I made him think that I like him when I don't, the worst part is that I only like him for his attention. I don't know who I am anymore. I treated him like shit. Oh well. I can't change the past, but I can change the future.

So, I talked to him. I told him everything, he seemed sad but he was still quite blank...I don't know anymore. I've been overthinking a lot and it's driving me crazy.

Thinking of how we were best friends, before anyone likes anyone. 
How we laughed and talked like there was no tomorrow.
How we communicated like we didn't care what anyone else thinks.
It was fine, until he likes me. 

WHY DOES HE HAS TO LIKE ME? That pretty much fucks up everything. 

Things become more awkward.

We barely talk, nor do eye contacts and even walk together. Those things don't exist anymore, they become something we're all familliar with, memories. It's sad, seeing people change. Being the one having to observe everything, arriving home with so many unanswered thoughts, not knowing what to do. 

Clueless, anxious, depressed.

Fuck, I sounded so pathetic.

I'm tired of forcing myself to be nice to everyone. To care about others' feelings more than I do with mine. I wanna focus on just one person, one thing, one priority. I need to set a goal, I was lost. I had no one, everyone was with their problems. I need help. 

Wait, I don't need help. I just need someone to 

listen.