13 - Depressed but well dressed
I've been busy with school - syarahan, ping pong, bicara berirama, exam I haven't had the chance to update this rusty blog of mine. SO HI! I'm back here again and today's topic is about how stressed I am for now.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
You know how I go home at 6.40 because I have training and shits, right? Right after I arrive home, I'll do some reading and eventually, I'll doze off. But my mum doesn't understand that, she keeps on ranting about how many things i've participated and how i've forgotten about my studies.
I'm trying to balance both things, okay. I don't wanna focus on just studies, my curriculum plays a big role in applying university and all. But mum, being the straight As-student she was, she doesn't understand. She can be pretty supportive to no-more-extra-curricular-activities mood. It's confusing but what can I do, still learning to live with it.
Got third place for Syarahan BM, Alhamdulillah. I still think I deserve second place but I can never be more grateful. Third place out of 16 schools? THAT IS ONE ACHIEVEMENT. *pats self* I'll be representing the school for ping pong next year but I am already making preparation this year. Early preparation doesn't hurt, aite!
My friends planned an outing to Sunway this Wednesday. They said they'd treat me, they'd find me transportation and all other shits. Now, what's left is my parents. If they say yes, then I can go. But if they say no which i'm afraid that's most likely to happen, i'll just... be a good daughter and obey them.
It's quite stressful to know how I never really do bad things, but I am allowed to go outings like what, twice a year? That's unhealthy, most of the people thinks I need to go out and socialize but woah - my parents' thinking don't match at all. What they think I need to do is study, study and study my ass off.
There's nothing wrong with that, it's just that..why don't they trust me with this kind of thing? It hurts okay. I feel so left out by the fact that all my friends went, had fun and I was just here...watching...and thinking...and crying. I haven't asked my parents yet, but please please please get me a green light o Allah :(